Carrying, breastfeeding in the wrap around sling.
Flat head? How to avoid it? Carry! Its only natural. Carrying the weight in your hips and not in your shoulders ensures carrying even for people who cant use suspension models.
http://www.sleepywrap.com/2011/02/strollers-baby-carriers-and-infant-stress/?sms_ss=facebook&at_xt=4d5d7fc2805891e5%2C1
Click on photos below for slide show.
6m coton/linen all season wraps @ 57€ Meliimeloo in Paris.
Some video demonstrations
Wrap around sling, breastfeeding in the wrap, no adjustments required Tutorial. Vocal in french, on Omega TV videos:
http://www.omegatv.tv/video/22762221001/famille/bebe/comment-placer-bebe-en-echarpe-face-a-soi
Porte Calllin Ring sling tutorial:
N° 1 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0Zo9dKEDjE&NR=1
N° 2 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gf9fPHUPpDY
N° 3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6WnKKP3L6U
N° 4 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h376XDLqMn4
N° 5 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KA9mfhq6A8w
Life with breastfeeding in a wrap, slide show on youtube: :http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=BsSDr4uLvns
Tutorial video by Mary James Mackay in London : http://fr.youtube.com/watch?v=uBMwG3NOlX8
Tutorial in photo slide show: http://yemanja.net.free.fr/img/Pagneparisien.html
Mother's meetings breastfeeding, carrying, breastfeeding as you go click here
Carrying. In front, on back, until what age?
re carrying :
I was wondering how long you carried your babies for. My son is 14 months old and I have carried him from birth and loved the closeness and changing relationship of carrying. Up till he was 6 or 7 months old, I was on congé parentale and I carried him with the wrap. Then I discovered the Manduca, mainly to encourage my son’s dad to carry him too. As I carry him from the nounou's, I soon found the Manduca easier to handle and I become lazy and I now only use the Manduca. I find carrying my son back from the nounou really important as it means an extra 15 minutes with my baby. I always carry him on my front. If we are feeling playful, we have a giggle together; sometimes he is feeling really cuddly and he puts his head against me and strokes my arm; other times he is doing his own thing or pointing at stuff and we talk about what is around us. So, I really love carrying him.
His dad takes him in the pushchair, which he also seems to like now. When we go out together, his dad will push him in his pushchair and invariably I will end up carrying him when he is tired and grouchy and that will calm him down. When I am out on my own with him I don't hesitate: I carry him.
I don't find him too heavy yet (he is about 10 kilos) but I guess I will soon. I am starting to get more and more criticism and negative comments, which I brush off but it does dent my confidence. I just wanted to know how long you carried your babies and if you started carrying them on your back as they got heavier ? I guess it helps to know what everyone else did.
Breastfeeding:
Did you breastfeed on demand when your baby was between one and two ? Did any of you negociate with your baby breastfeeding at certain times or in certain places (home) ? If so, how old were they ? I find at the moment I am so motivated that I feel quite strong when I get criticised (by my nounou who will say to my son "petit coquin, tu es trop âgé pour ça" laughing for example...) and just let it wash over me. I think at some point it may be easier to reduce breastfeeding to suit both of us. I don't know how this would work. For the night breastfeeding, I love it. I know it sounds strange to love waking up at night but, I work, and as my son breastfeeds two or three times in the night, I feel we are getting the physical contact we don't get during the day. Am I tired ? I guess so but not as tired as I thought I would be. I was born tired anyway.
Thanks as always for your help !
Dear S
I don't remember when I stopped carrying my daughter A. I do remember that at 21 months we were still going strong since I was taking her to rehearsals with me and was using the wrap in the metro (much easier than a stroller!) and I would also pop her into it during rehearsals when she needed to be held and then just carry on...
The carrying tapered off little by little as she got too heavy. I never did get the hang of carrying on my back! But I do remember seeing parents carrying their children on their backs as late as 4 or 5 years old. I tried once with A when she was older but she was having none of it!
All this to say, don't worry about what others think, just do what is comfortable for you. You'll recognise the moment when it's physicallly too much. In addition to the pleasure it gives both us and our babies, carrying and breastfeeding are just too practical to be given up before either of you are ready!
Bises,
Alyssa
Alyssa Landry
Tél: 06.80.26.37.31
www.myspace.com/alysslandry
www.jusquauxdents.com
Hi,
This is our expérience with my son. I loved carrying my son, even though I didn’t know the wrap at that time (and didn’t invented it either!)...
I started to have him in my back at 2 months old, with the African pagne (tought by an African mother with an African pagne), or in the front with the Wilkinet, or in the sling with the Porte calllin from LLL, and later in the front or in the back with the snuggly... and later on my hips with the Tonga... and the last times he asked me to carry him, he was 5 year old... that would last only a few minutes though, just as to verify I was still there for him.
I never minded the criticism... I felt proud of being able to carry him, and distressed when I couldn’t do it (mainly for health reasons). It was so important and nurturing for both of us ! We also had a light stroller, that I used when I couldn’t carry him, and he loved it too because we were playing with its driving quite a lot and had a lamb skin in it. Same with a baby jogger that his father had seen in the US... he managed to get one and have it brought back here. People would look at us as if we’d be monkeys in a zoo...! (that was in 1995). We’ve always felt we’d be border line with our way of parenting him, so a bit more or a bit less, I didn’t mind, even if sometimes it was heavy, particularly with our relatives. His father’s support (and own fantasy) was a big help in this regard.
About your BF questions, I cannot answer you with personnal experience since I accidentally stopped at the age of 8 months... but I appreciate you telling your own experience. Thank you ! (will be useful for other moms).
viviane
Viviane Lemaigre Dubreuil,
Mother of a 14 year old boy.
Maman et doula en région parisienne
France
Hello,
Concerning the carrying, I carried my first born son in the front (with a wrap) until he was 2,5 years old. In fact I remember the very last time I carried him, it was in the metro coming back from the train station, I was pregnant with our secon born son - maybe 2 months - 2 months and a half pregnant, and I realised it was now too uncomfortable with my belly growing, so it was the end of carrying for Loïs ! I tried to learn how to carry him in the back when he was around 2 years old, but it was "too late", I was too used to the front carrying and I carried in the back only a few times and I did not feel a big need of it.
So I would say, go on carrying your son if you feel like it, and don't pay attention to the comments ! I find great the idea to carry him coming back from the nanny, it is a great way to "re-connect" with him at the end of the day ! I also get comments when carrying Loïs (I remember a postman in the postoffice making remarks each time, I always answered
that I prefer my son to be there and "participate" instead of being in a pushchair far from everybody and at the level of the cars exhaust pipes, but this guy never got my point. Pffff.
Now with my second born ; (8,5 months old but already more than 10 kilos), I carry him a lot (in fact my first born ‘s pushchair is in the basement and we haven’t
bought it up since before my second born’s birth, so in fact, he has never even seen it. He has never even been in one !). I
have learned (again!) to carry him in the back (thank you Charlotte !
;-) and I do carry him quite often in the back now, each time I know he will just fall asleep and will not need to nurse. It is very much practical also to deal with Loïs when Rémi is in the back, so I really appreciate back carrying now.
And for the nursing, I would say the same, do as you feel the best ! I also breastfed Loïs at night until he weaned himself during my pregnancy (so up to more than 2,5 yo), and I also liked to be near him at night after a day at work, so I totally understand what you feel !
It is true that when he was getting older I was able to make him waitfor nursing (if we were in a shop or outside, I would tell him to wait to be back in the car, for example), but I don't remember how old he was exactly. You will find your way along time, I am sure.
Warmly, M.M.
Hi Mama S,
About carrying, I carried my first born daughter in the front in a wrap until she was too heavy for me 18mths-2yrs at which point i switched to carrying her on the back in the wrap. When that became unpractical because she always wanted to get down and sit on her seat in the bus etc. we got a Manduca as it was more practical for being up and down behaviour. She loved it right away and I carried her until the beginning of the year when I got pregnant and carrying her made me feel horribly nauseuous. She was a few months shy of 3. She still aks to be carried a lot and her father carries her as much as possible, whenever we go out, frequently in the evenings to calm her and often in the day too, mostly in the manduca but sometimes just in arms. She really seems to need it still. I am sad I can't carry her right now but it exhausts me in less than a minute instead sometimes when i'm sitting she'll climb on my back and stuff like that so we have both grieved that ending but at the same time it wasn't especially difficult and felt quite natural. This means I use a pushchair now after not using one at all before and though i don't really like it, my daughter does and simply can't always walk everywhere we want to go without getting very tired and grumpy (me too!).
I breastfed my first born until very recently. Again mostly due to my prenancy she has gradually weaned over the last few months since her 3rd birthday. It has all been very slow and natural and while no doubt affected by restrictions I was obliged to put on our breastfeeding, led by her. (child led weaning) I would not be surprised if she wants to nurse again when the baby arrives and we will see how that works out, I'm not sue she still knows how as when she tries occasionally it is very uncomfortable and i have to ask her to stop immediately, She still asks to hold my boobies several times a day and talls me she loves them, they're beautiful and which one is big and which one is small! Concerning restricting breastfeeding I think follow your instincts and you will find what is natural for you and your son. For example, I stopped nursing my daughter outside (in the park) the winter she was 18mths because I got too cold and she was fine with that, Then when she was over 2 I stopped nursing in public by which i mean on the bus or metro unless she really needed it because I felt she could wait and I was more comfortable waiting, I gradually put limits on how often and said no when I felt I didn't want to for whatever reason but I tried to always take into account how this made her feel. And at one point when she was 2anda1/2 she had an experience which she found traumatic and began to ask to nurse non-stop all the time and while it was hard for me I realised that it was really what she needed to feel attached and secure at that time and so I went with it, It lasted no more than 2 months and then she was down to once in the morning and once to go to sleep in the evening all of her own accord. I really feel therefore that the most important thing is to listen to yourself and your child and do what the 2 of you are comfortable with. If people feel they must give an opinion, try the simplest reply, I appreciate your concern and I'm interested to hear what you think but this is what works for Milo and me.
Lots of courage mama S you are such a great mum and really listen to your son.
warmly
H.G.
Hi, I know you've already gotten many replies, but I wanted to share our story (esp. re the breastfeeding) in case it is helpful to you:
I carried my first born daughter most of the time until she was about 2-2 1/2. Even when we also took the stroller with us for longer excursions (mostly with my husband), I carried her much of the time when she was awake (she slept well in the stroller). From when she was about 2 we used the Ergo on my back, which helped me a lot with back pain problems I was getting. (Not so much due to her weight, but because I'd never dealt with them after 7 weeks of pregnancy hospital bed rest on a terrible mattress!)
After she was 2 1/2 I didn't carry her as regularly, but I still did from time to time and for short stretches because we both loved it. I had to stop completely only when I got pregnant with my second when she was four.
I remember getting funny looks when I carried her in the front when she was older, but not so much in the back.
Re. breastfeeding: My daughter nursed until she was just under 3 1/2. I nursed her when she wanted it until she was 2 1/2 and then less in the night because she moved into her own bed (next to ours) and I felt I needed more sleep. Luckily the transition was easy for her.
Around that time and especially when she had started school, I received almost constant negative comments about still breastfeeding her from my MIL, and finally her Papa also started to say that he thought we should stop (he had been a wonderful supporter of our breastfeeding up until then and I don't think I would have managed the first difficult weeks without his constant encouragement, but at this point he felt - I'm sure somewhere deep inside influenced by his mother - she shouldn't be nursing anymore when she started school at almost 3).
I wish now that I had been stronger and firmer about not accepting any comments - even semi-humorous or friendly comments - in front of my daughter, because although I tried to ignore them (water off a duck's back approach), they DID affect me and make me feel uncomfortable, and I truly believe that they affected her. During this time she weaned herself, wanting to nurse less and less frequently until she finally stopped. It's true that that made weaning a smooth transition for us and that she enjoyed the positive feedback she received from her Papa about being a big girl etc. And I actually don't think we would have nursed much longer in any case – my daughter has a very independent little spirit. But I for quite a long time felt sad that I had allowed those negative comments to affect her weaning-time.
Good luck - from your message I gather how much you enjoy both carrying and nursing. This closeness with our children lasts for such a short time anyway, so I truly believe it is best to let your feeling and intuitions and your child guide you in those decision rather than anyone from the outside.
S.P. Mother of two girls.
Hi. You've got some really really beautiful answers here. I just wanted to say that I nursed "on cue" my firstborn until he was 3 and I regret it. I nursed him until he was 4 but I really wished I'd set some limits like "not at the park", and "not in the metro" and "not in the RER at rush hour" etc. He would nurse, (even at age 4) then fall asleep in my arms while nursing and I had to deal with carrying the great lump of a 4 year old in my arms with bags, and stuff up metro stairs, everywhere. I had a wrap of course but at that age, I carried him on my back and you just cant put a sleeping 3 or 4 yr old on your back in a wrap on the RER platform or in a metro with lots of bags of stuff without provoking enraged screaming demanding to breastfeed back to sleep again. I tried it a couple of times, and he made such a scene, with all the passengers gawking and wondering what torture I was submitting him to. Wont do that again.
Couldn't leave the bed, let alone the room when I nursed him for a seista and had to run back to him in the evenings about 4 times between 9pm and midight because he would wake up screaming if the breast was no longer in his mouth.
Sooooo. A little wiser for my second born; having read Elizabeth Pantely's "no cry sleep solution" and "mothering your nursing toddler", this time, I took him off the breast as soon as he started "tétouilling" you know, sort of sleep nursing, but not drinking. I started that as of about a year I think, maybe younger. Cant remember now.
Also, the limits on no breastfeeding in the park or metro was a lot easier this time because I started carrying my second born on my back as of age 1. I kept my first born in front until he was 2.
When you carry on the back they start getting sleepy just as they do in front, but this time, they cant get access to the breast. That can be a crisis for some, but for my second born I just passed him crackers, and he would eat them, protesting, but falling fast asleep with cracker crumbs spilling out of his mouth.
I would put the cross side of the wrap over his head so it wouldn't loll backwards, and he would spend a lot of siestas that way. That really imposed limits on where we can breastfeed without much effort.
Not in the park was a little more difficult because he was free to run around and rip off my t-shirt any chance he got, but I used my ever faithful crackers again. I started with grissinis because they were easy for him to hold. So we lived with grissini crumbs and bits of broken grissinis in the wrap, on the floor where I undid the wrap, in his clothes, in my bags, everywhere, until we got a promotion to crackers. Good old saltine crackers. 'Cept they dont have the salt on them anymore. But my boys love them, and I depend on them as a real mothering/calming/apetite calming/negotiating tool. Of course older, both boys needed to nurse non stop if we weren't anywhere near a table, to get to real food, so I let him get a good long slug of the breastmilk, then offered crackers. Brilliant things.
I carried my second born in the wrap on my back until I got an Ergo as a promotional gift, and carried him always on my back with that until he was about, I dunno, age 3 I guess. Not all the time, just if it was far, by metro or I had to go quickly, or I knew there was a risk he would fall asleep in the metro or RER.
The Manduca is much more adapted to growing bbs than the Ergo I find. However, my second born went from a plastic 4 wheel car that he pushed along putting big holes in the fronts of his shoes, to a tricycle very very early. He used a tricycle as of 18 or 19 months. I pushed it with a bar to keep on the straight and narrow because even though he mastered the pedalling perfectly, he, like all children I think wanted to "explore" the sidewalk by zigzagging all over it, looking at garbage in the gutter, trying to open car doors, hitting the side view mirrors, and trying to run into hurried pedestrians for a laugh.
Then we got a "vélo sans pédales". A no pedal bicycle.
He got that when he was 19m old but we didn't let him use it outside until he was almost 2. About 22 months I think, yes, 22 months. Oh man, you really have to know you can trust your child with that thing.
He of course used it to the max in all the parks and I let him use it on the sidewalk as long as he agreed to go slowly enough to allow his panting out of shape mother keep up with him. I got mad at him if he went too far away, explaining over and over again the risk of cars that dont stop and scooters on the sidewalk.
He understands the risk of cars, that is for sure, so he stops at every edge of sidewalk and waits for me. I'm quite well known in the neighbourhood as the « running mom ».
Whevever we go, he shouts, singing, whatever, at the top of his lungs, (I think he's happy) and I run as fast as I can to keep up with him. Sometimes I get stuck behind slow pedestrians, so I get a bit panicky but he always waits at the edge of the sidewalk before a road. I know the risk is there. I know he may just let a game get the better of him and dash out, it is possible, but so far, he has always, always stopped. I usually start screaming "JUILIEN STOP! JULIEN STOP!" from behind him if I see him going full speed toward the edge of a road, but so far.... knock on wood... He seems to understand, always repeating to me how dangerous cars are and how daddy kicked a car who cut them off as they crossed the crosswalk together because the car was very very méchant. Often, as I walk to catch my breath, I find him at the bottom of an escalator or something, with his miniature vélo, as some old lady or concerned man bends over to talk to him, asking where his mother is and what is his name. (thinking he is lost).
My second born loves talking to anybody so its all a great big adventure for him. He tells the person his name, his age, that he can count to 20 and usually demonstrates.
I trot up panting and thanking the person for their concern.
Did I tell you how he used to target the people in the pedestrian precinct where the supermarket is?
The pedestrians carrying heavy shopping bags from the super market were moving targets to my 2 year old second born. He had realised a long time ago that bags being suspended at the end of people's arms were movable, not solid, so he would go as fast as he could towards them, aiming at the heavy bags, so he could do a "stunt" or cascade as my eldest calls it. Smashing into the suspended bags, and keep on going.
Most people were very agile and began to hop from foot to foot as he neared them at top speed, and turn sideways at the last minute, so he just sped by, and I got a LOT of dirty looks. I apologised profusely saying he wasn't very good at it yet, he was just learning, but I was lying. He was doing it on purpose. He would shout/sing of course as he approached, so no one can hear anything else but him, he's so loud, and total confustion reigns because the poor people are trying to avoid having the little boy on 2 wheels smash into them.
Anyway. So all that is to say that if you choose "wheels" (My first born was a master of a scooter by the age of 2 and a half) you will find that at least locally, you’ll have a very happy child, and arms and back a lot more free.
I think the thing to remember is that naturally, the carrying, whether its on the back or the front reduces itself just by the maturing of the child. I think we can all say that we carrry until at least the age of 3, but its not the intense all day thing it was when they were bbs.
Its not like a pushchair, where once you use one, its pretty well full time, every time, no exception, from birth to age 6.
Personally I will choose any form of wheels other than a pushchair, every time, as age permits. I think pushchairs are the biggest scam in our parenting concept of things. There are so many other choices of practical, fun, dexterity, agility, coordonation building wheels to use, that all exclude a pushchair.
Have fun.
Charlotte.
LLLfrance
www.allaitementpourtous.com
06 16 79 59 44.
http://anpa.weebly.com
Wrap demos: http://www.omegatv.tv/s-50301
Mise en place écharpe de portage.
Kirkilionis on Carrying and Hips
Dr. Evelyne Kirkilionis, Forschungsgruppe Verhaltensbiologie des Menschen (FVM), Freiburg, Germany,
on carrying and hip development.
Mothering Magazine. N° 137 July August 2006.
When parents carry their babies in a sling or carrying bag, they give them a sense of security. Babies can be aware of their parents with practically all their senses. they can hear their heartbeats, feel their warmth, observe their facial expressions, take in their smells. Just the sensation of being moved pacifies especially well. And if children are carried sitting upright with their legs spread and strongly drawn up, the parents are also “practicing” - quite coincidentally- prevention of so-called innate hip dysplasia. This requires, however, that the baby’s thighs be drawn up at least to a right angle; it’s better if it’s even more. Then if the baby is sitting on the parent’s hip or is carried face to face, the baby has a leg position that is ideal for the healthy maturation of the hip joint.
If the legs are bent more than 90° (about 100° to 110°) and spread approximately 90°, the femur head fits ideally in the hip socket. this favours its healthy develpment. Moreover, the body posture of the baby is not stationary. through the movements of the parent as well as those of the baby, a constant stimulus is transferred to the child’s hip joint, which promotes circulation to the still-cartilagious structures and supports their maturation. All in all, this way of carrying is an appropriate way to prevent hip dysplasia.
When baby is facing away from the mother’s body, these anatomically positive aspects of carrying are lost. The child has an unfavorable leg posture because the legs dangle down. Often, because of the construction of the carrying bag, a stretching in the hip joint is even forced. This must be regarded extremely critically in terms of the development of the hip joint, especially in the first four months. Such a stretched postion means that the femur head is not centrally guided into the hip socket, and this leads to malformation.
Moreover, with this mode of carrying, the overall posture of the torso of the child is not age appropriate. If the baby sits facing away in the carrier, the straps pull from the front over the child’s shoulders; this often causes a very upright posture, since the shoulders are pressed back. In the worst case, this posture, in combination with a stretched postion in the hip joint, forces a hollow back.
In addition, a child will not sit on her or his diaper-padded bottom. Rather, the weight will be distributed onto the cartilage of the symphysis of the pelvis. this means that the baby is sitting on the crotch, and for boys, on the testicles.
When the flood of information becomes too much : Babies carried facing away from their parents are confronted with stimuli from the environment without being able to turn away when it becomes excessive. These children also cannot read the facial expressions of their parents to see how this information is to be interpreted. In the case of disturbing stimuli, babies cannot look at their parents’ faces to be assured that everything is still OK. Admittedly, babies carried in this way are very excited, exceptionally awake and active. They seem to like having so much to see. But our little ones still have to learn to distinguish between important and unimportant information, and also need to learn how to “blind or shut out” unneeded stimuli. The exposure to this flood of information is often not ended at the right time, as the babies cannot withdraw from it by themselves. For one thing, even if babies in this position want to turn away, they cannot. For another, strong stimuli can hold babies’ attention even if it is too much for them. With face to face carrying, it is possible for babies to turn away from strong stimulation when they get tired. Also, the change in body posture allows their bodies to relax. All this is not possible when babies face away from their parents.
There are several possibilities for carrying your baby: What to do when the little one wants to see more of the world than is possible with the usual frontal carrying mode?
One possibility is to carry the baby in the sideways cross-carry, sitting on the parent’s hip. However, this may be too strenuous for the carrying person’s back. Alternatively, one should shift to the back-carrying mode. Here the child should be carried in such a way that it can observe its surroundings over the shoulders of the carrying person. This is rarely possible with conventional carriers; it is easier to achieve with a sling or a similar carrying device. In both cases, healthy development of the hip joint is supported because the leg position is equivalent to the frontal carrying mode. Moreover, the orientation of the baby to the parent’s body more strongly favours attachment with the parents.
Hiking in Normandy in the Parisian Pagne.
The day after I saw you at the Pagne Parisien meeting, I went on a 12 km hike through the countryside with C envelpped in the Pagne Parisien knot on my back.
I had started with C on my back because it was going to be a long hike, but his hands got cold. I dont have a carrying coat or poncho yet. So when he started getting cranky, I stopped to take him down and put him in the Pagne Parisien knot in front and nurse him. An older lady told me to abandon the hike, as it was obviously too hard for me. Pfff, Are you kidding?!
I put C in front, in the Pagne Parisien knot, and as I warmed his little hands in mine, he nursed and I began to stride as fast as I could, because I was about 300m behind everyone else by this time.
I had to go at turbo speed to catch up, but I did. By the time I began to approach the group, some people started turning around, noticing our arrival. Suddenly someone started clapping, and as I reached the group, everyone was applauding.
Apparently no one had seen us stop, because they said they would have waited for us if they had.
We visited some really magnificant places, with some breathtaking views. At certain points, there were some descents that I had to negotiate with difficulty but a couple of men helped me down those parts.
C was the youngest participant.
I got a lot of questions and comments on carrying C on my back in the Pagne Parisien.
Some people wondered if there was a risk he might fall out of the wrap. If C had been in a stroller, that would definitely have been a risk. As if I could even have imagined doing a hike like that with a stroller!
Others were amazed that at 8 months he was still breastfed. That comment came from the retired aged people and grandmothers. How things have changed! When grandmothers worried that he doesn’t drink from a bottle, I explained that I had more important things in which to invest my money than artificial milk and plastic bottles!
The highlight of the hike was when I saw a deer and her faun running. I wouldn’t have missed that for the world! Long live the Pagne Parisien wrap!!
I just wanted to share these things with you because if I hadn’t been to your Pagne Parisein meeting, I wouldn’t have dared put C on my back like that, and I wouldn’t have been able to go so far.
Now I’m going to join my 2 loves for a cosleeping night.
Hugs to you all, and good night,
S
Daring to wear BB on my back in a Parisien Pagne.
I used to have a bit of a psychological block about wearing my son on my back. When he was about 8 months old, I was forced to get over it. When C had naps, I was afraid to make the slightest noise for fear of waking him, so getting anything done in the house was darned near impossible. When my man came in at the end of the day, at about 9:30pm, the lunch table was still not cleared away, no laundry or tidying had been done, the whole house was a mess, it was a catastrophe.
When I was first shown how to tie a child onto the back in a carrying wrap, I paid no attention to the demonstration, thinking that I would always carry my baby son in front, close to my heart. However, several weeks later, I realised that carrying on my back would change my daily life.
I tried to remember how to do the tie, to no avail, and anyway, the “back pack” tie scared me, I couldn’t see how my baby would be securely held against my body.
One week later, I attended a meeting on breastfeeding in the wrap. I discovered what is called the Parisian Pagne, which is a knot we all know, but the fabric is folded, and baby is snugly held belly to belly, head at about breast height to enable easy breastfeeding. The wrap goes all around the wearer so that the final knot is done under the child, in front, not in the back. All this enables long hours of carrying without any pain in the shoulders. This same knot is used to carry the child on the back, but much higher than in front.
The very next day I tried the tie, at home, successfully. I felt that C was so snugly held, he couldn’t flop from side to side, he was in total security, nothing could happen to him, so I felt secure wearing him like that.
I carried him for a long time in Parisian Pagne. Then, one day, I was in a hurry, so I put C in the “back pack” tie. This time, with all my experience in the security of the Parisian Pagne, I managed to do the “back pack” tie easily and securly. These days I realise I carry C almost always on the back, in a “back pack” tie. I can do it in 20 seconds!
C now wants to be carried in “back pack” because I do it in a way that his head is above my head and he can see far. I never managed to carry C that high with the Parisian Pagne so he could see only on the sides.
Before our carrying on the back days, I used to pray that C would stay asleep long enough for me to do a little tidying up, or even wash the dishes. Now, when he wakes up, I think, “great, now I can get some things done in this house!” I am now able to maintain the house, baking, and make meals with C on my back.
My man comes home to a clean and orderly house with a lunch table cleared off and a meal made. I have been able to get a little time for myself too. I am now able to put on makeup, and feel a little more like a woman. Now, I wait until C is awake so we can do the dishes together. From his viewpoint, he loves to watch the pots and pans dancing in the hot sudsy water, and be rocked with my movements as I maintain the house. He watches everything I do now, with great interest, and I think he wouldn’t miss a thing for anything in the world.
Carrying my baby on my back has really changed my whole life. I have even found myself realising with a start that I haven’t heard a peep from him in a while, and as I get up to go worriedly into the bedroom to check on him, I suddenly realise that he is on my back, safely in the wrap. I have totally found independance now with my baby, thanks to being able to carry him on my back. Even my couple life has regained the serenity it used to have thanks to my new found independance.
If I had to do things over again, I would probably start carrying my baby on my back a little earlier.
S.
Carrying, J’s Story.
I have been using a six metre wrap around sling since my daughter was about 3 months old. Before that I had a kangaroo front pack and of course there is no comparison. The wrap around sling has made life easier for us. Far from just a way of transporting the baby, it comforts her when she's tired, sick or teething; it is a valuable means of getting her to sleep; and of course, it goes hand in hand with a long & successful breastfeeding relationship. Due to my size, I cannot have a shorter wrap around sling as I simply would not be able to get it around my waist in order to tie the knot at the front. A knot at the back seems most impractical as it would not give me the support I need in the back, & goodness knows, I need support since my abdominals are not what they were before childbirth. I wish all mothers and their babies could experience breastfeeding in the wrap while going about daily life.
J
Carrying, K’s Story.
The 6 meter wrap is the only wrap I would consider using. The extra length (compared to the 5,2 m wrap and shorter ones) allows just enough extra material to wrap one extra (or one half extra) time around the waist, which gives invaluable additional back support, taking weight off the shoulders. It also allows more choice as to the position of the knot. It is very awkward to tie a firm knot at one’s back, and makes sitting against anything hard (such as a bus or metro seat) uncomfortable. The shorter wraps necessitate tying at the back. The 6 m wrap allows tying anywhere, most conveniently, at left or right side. In addition, having a little extra material makes it easier to tie a knot you can’t necessarily see (b/c obscured by baby’s body or angle), and allows for improvising with alternative wrapping styles (twins, an extra half-wrap before putting in baby for extra waist support, etc.). I have wrapped two babies at once in my 6 m wrap when I was babysitting a friend’s baby who needed to be soothed to sleep at the same time as my own baby. I could not have done that with a shorter wrap. I have a 5 meter wrap sitting in the back of my closet which I never use, and three 6 m wraps that I use constantly. If I were selling wraps, I would never want to sell anything but the 6 m wrap, because I would feel that I wasn’t providing mothers with the best possible option. I cannot emphasize strongly enough how useful that extra length is.
Sincerely,
K.E.
Carrying M and S’s story.
My daughter S had been uncharacteristically cranky and fussy for several days, even refusing to nurse while obviously hungry. So we went to the local Le Leche League meeting to see if anyone had some advice.
After the diagnosis (teething at 2.5 months!) she continued to cry and cry throughout the meeting. While trying to soothe her, C, one of the leaders, tied us up in a 6-meter long sling. S finally nursed and fell asleep. Instead of waking my baby to go back in her Baby Bjorn, C insisted I take the sling home.
On the bus ride home (rush hour, naturally) S woke up and started screaming. In a flash I discreetly unhooked my bra, offered her my breast and she began to nurse. I didn't even break a sweat.
An elderly woman had watched the whole thing and I looked at her, relieved, and said, "ça marche!" and she smiled and exclaimed, "c'est genial!".
My family has been hooked on the sling ever since.
Carrying MAs Story
This is M. I have learned so much from C. I remember when I took her baby carrying class I told myself that I wouldn't leave her home until I could do the Parisian Pagne without thinking.
I practiced over and over as I tried to listen to C's various pieces of advice, such as it is better to under dress than to over dress with the wrap. As a result, I started to simply put my pancho over both my baby and I and that way I could slip it off and on accordingly.
Another key piece of advice she gave was to make sure that the back of the wrap always stays flat because if it doesn’t it could cut into your muscles and dig onto your muscles like crazy.
I can not imagine my life without the wrap and I dread the day that my little E no longer wants to the carried ; she is 15 months. Over the summer, my husband and I bought an expensive stroller because we thought that the wrap would be too hot in Tuscany during vacation. We used it a few times, but it was the wrap that saved us over and over again during vacation.
I sell the Girasol 6 meter wraps now and while I was home in the States over the summer, I gave my sister a wrap for her new born. She had already invested in a Baby Bjorn. The minute she put her baby in the wrap, she started to scream “On my God !!” for ten minutes because she couldn’t believe how good it felt. The following weekend, they took an overnight trip to D.C. and she took the wrap with them. The entire time during the trip all she talked about was how convenient the wrap was.
The stories are endless.
If you would like attend a wrap workshop and/ or to purchase a wrap, please give me a call at 01.48.07.12.83.
Carrying Mels Story
Hi everyone!
I've loved reading about your recent experiences with the 6 meter slings in France. I became thoroughly converted to the cult of baby wearing when my Sidonie was a howling 2 month old. No other baby carrier worked for me and she is still slung (slinged?) daily at 10 months.
I have to say that they are a HUGE hit here in "Brew City", Milwaukee, our new home of one month. I brought back 8 six meter slings from Paris and three are already spoken for. I'm attending an LLL meeting tomorrow night and I'm sure the others will be gone then. My husband and I are going to go into the 6 meter sling business because we want to spread the word that a mama CAN nurse her baby (discreetly if preferred) while walking and be comfortable and free to be active.
One of the slings was purchased by my friend who is a pregnant chiropractor. After showing her the features of the Six Meter, she looked at how S was positioned and was astonished at the excellent and safe support for mother and baby. She is so excited to use it and to tell her patients that there is FINALLY a sling we can really use!
People here have been so curious and amazingly interested in our babywearing. Old women come up to me with tears in their eyes remembering their nursing days and teenagers love the fact that S is eye to eye with them and so responsive to their attention.
Perhaps the best reward we've had this month is the time that my husband who brings S to my work so I can nurse her during my lunch hour, was catcalled by two women. He was walking across the street with S in her sling and two women at the stoplight declared him "the best father in the world" with whistles and cheers. These are good times!
We miss you all terribly and really hope that you're enjoying parenthood and slinginess as much as we are. I'm staying on the forum to read all of the new adventures and look at photos and hopefully to come back to Paris very soon.
Love, M. & S.
Carrying MMJs Story
I'd heard about the wrap concept when I was pregnant. It sounded like a good idea and I wanted one. I didn't know what it was called, or how to get hold of one, until I met M at a mothers' coffee morning. When I saw her wearing it, I thought "that's it, that's what I want!", and I made a friend too.
I bought a 6m wrap when I was pregnant and started carrying F in it after two days, when we came back from the clinique. It was absolutely fantastic for both me and my husband, and we haven't looked back.
C showed me how to tie it for breast-feeding, which has been amazingly liberating. I don't know what we would do without it. We have a lovely stroller which doubles as a very handy luggage carrier, and the nacelle straps into the car as an infant car-seat. However the most useful thing while travelling has definitely been the wrap. It may not be legal to breast-feed your baby in a wrap on the motorway, but it's a lot safer than driving with a screaming baby strapped into his very safe car-seat.
I have done a dental visit with my baby in the wrap. C also showed me how to get him in and out without undoing it, which is a neat trick when visiting a pediatrician or similar. One of the top things about the wrap is how easy it is to get around generally, and particularly how easy it is to use public transport.
Another really good aspect is that F likes to look around when we go out - I think that's why he doesn't like the nacelle - and he has a really good view from the wrap. But the very best thing is that he loves it, and I love it - it's simple and it's great!
M.M.J.
Carrying P & Ts Story
P & T’s story.
T is doing well. Since he’s been travelling in the wrap, he doesn't cry any more in the metro. In general, he cries less often! Since he has started to smile now, I am the happiest mother in the world: my baby-boy smiles and doesn't cry!
I contacted M last week and we already have our own wrap: it is not
as colourful as yours and M-F's ones, but it is also very nice: beige with little green lines. It goes well with the green carrying cape, so we will not change it for the blue one! (thanks anyway.)
I have also decided to switch to cloth diapers (in quite a natural way I have become an alternative parent:). T had some white points on his "zizi" and I suspect those plastic disposables!
I will try to come to the meeting on Friday, the 17th, and on the 1st
April too, we still need some professional support for the breast-feeding in the wrap).
Love P. & T.
My working/breastfeeding life
At 6:30, my day starts. My daughter and my husband are still sleeping. Outside it is still dark. I lie down next to my little daughter who is about four months old. I caress her gently and she looks for my breast. She finds it and starts to eat. The day breaks most peacefully and joyfully. She drops off to sleep again. I get myself ready for work. She is still asleep. I come to her side and I take her into my arms gently. She gradually wakes up. I wash and dry her and put her clean clothes on. I put on my Pagne Parisien wrap. I have to prepare breakfast now. I try to be with her for a maximum of time. The wrap helps me. I can be with her even while I am doing house keeping. My hands are free even as I am with her all the time.
Just before leaving I breastfeed her again. It's time to go. She is comfortable inside the wrap. No coldness can touch her. She is well protected. As soon as the front door closes behind us, she asks to nurse. She knows she can. The way to the nanny's place takes 20 minutes. She is on my breast all the way. She is filled. I say good bye to my little daughter.
I miss her so much already. In the morning, I pump my breast milk at 10:30 for 10 to 15 minutes. No problem. I think of my daughter. I feel connected with her even though we are physically separated. At 12:00, I go to the nanny's place. I put on the wrap and go out with her. She looks for my breasts. She is hungry. She eats peacefully inside the wrap. I buy my lunch and eat it with my friends. She continues to drink, drink, and sleep.... I feel so happy being with her. In the afternoon, I pump my milk at 14:00 and 17:30. Totally, each day I pump from 220 to 300 mls. At 18:30, I pick up my daughter. I put the wrap on. She immediately looks for my breast. She wants to sleep. She is tired. She drinks and sleeps while I am walking and doing some shopping for tonight. She is calm. Nobody knows that I am breast feeding. The wrap is a nest for her. It's the place where she can be fed and comforted. Warm and full of milk. When I get home, I prepare dinner with her inside the wrap. I breastfeed her but I am free. She is in the wrap safely. My husband does not like the wrap. He thinks it's too much work. He does not want to put it on. It's a shame. He does not understand breastfeeding either. He thought all mothers pump their milk and give it to their babies in a bottle. I laughed at the idea. I have tried to help him understand breastfeeding but haven’t been successful. His efforts go somewhere else. I think breastfed babies are much happier. My baby doesn't cry so much because we can communicate somehow by breast feeding. I can feel what she wants and without thinking about it, I am reacting to it. The wrap helps me too.
I find she is better fed with the wrap because I can do so many things while breast feeding so I have much more time to feed her. She has gained much more weight and she has grown more in length too. I wish I had used the wrap a long time ago. I bought it before her birth but I did not go to the workshop and it was bit difficult for me to master it alone. I still have to learn how to use it better I’m sure, but for a next baby, I will have fewer problems and more confidence in breastfeeding.
S.H. Paris, France. Oct. 2005
Parisian Pagne
Breastfeeding While Carrying
By CHARLOTTE YONGE
My name is Charlotte and I gave birth to Alex in France in 2001. Everything went very badly because of the misinformation I got from the maternity I gave birth in. I finally got valid information from La Leché League, a volonteer association of mother to mother support, when my son was already 8 weeks old and dehydrated and starving.
15 years before giving birth, I had undergone breast recuction surgery for personal reasons. Contrary to what the midwife at the maternity had told me, I didn’t have the ducts necessary to make enough milk to feed my baby. As well, he happened to have a high palet which is a common problem but in his case made his nursing technique inefficient. In most cases, the high palet problem resolves itself in the first 3 or 4 months but in my son’s case, he needed more time.
With the research and information, and mother to mother support I got from La Leché League, and the certified leader's help I rapidly learned how to resolve our breastfeeding problems.
The bad news was that I’d have to give my baby supplements of dehydrated reconstituted cow’s milk for infants for an indefinite period but the good news was that with frequent sucking the ducts that had been cut out in surgery would grow back.
Like a lot of mothers I had no household help, and don’t live in a commune so I had to figure out how to integrate frequent feedings into my active life. I needed a carrying system that my baby could nurse in while I kept up my activities. I was shown a hamac style carrier which is the most common type of carrier on the planet. A rectangle of fabric either tied with a knot, sewn or linked with rings that the fabric slides through like a belt, it is worn on one shoulder, wrapping around the wearer’s body diagonally.
After six months of very frequent nursing with an SNS in the hamac sling allowing me a totally free lifestyle while wearing my baby, plus some real galactogogues, and lots of LLL support, my ducts grew back and I was able to provide enough milk for my baby with no more supplements. Today he is very healthy on my milk, regular food and still likes to be carried occasionaly.
When my son weighed about 12 kilos and my shoulder was starting to give in, I was shown the wrap around sling. Several knots are possible in the wrap around sling from 5.20m -7m X 70cm but there is one only that puts almost all the weight into the legs of the wearer and that is what I call the Parisian Pagne. It is the only one that starts out with a Pagne or a belt that the child sits in, facing the wearer, making discreet nursing at any moment, a breeze, part of life.
One day my general practitioner who is also an IBLC lactation consultant told me that carried children are neurologically different than children who are not carried which means they are molecularly different. I was fascinated so I started to read everything I could find about carrying.
Below, I have noted some of the things I have read about carrying with references when possible.
The notes are divided into 4categories.
1. Neurological Developpment in Humans.
2. Cultural Norms.
3. The repercussions that popular theories create in our society.
4. The Biological Norms for Humans.
Neurological Developpment in Humans.
1 Anthropologists are unanamous; Baby carryers are the first tools ever invented by man. Before the hammer, fire or wheel. As much as breastfeeding, carrying has assured the survival of our species.(The Prehistory of Sex Timothy Taylor. Bantam Books.)
2 Humans are born 9 months premature. The average lifespan of most mammals on the planet is a lot shorter than that of humans. Rodents live for less than 10 years, dogs live about 10 years, Horses live about 25- 30 years. Humans like whales or elephants live to 85 years or longer so relatively should be born after 18-23 months gestation. Our oversized brain makes us impossible to get through the birth canal after about 9 months gestation although we are unfinished. Like the kangaroo we are born in a foetal stage. For optimum neurological and biological development our biological need is to latch on to our mother’s breast in a pocket for about 9 more months. Primates are born with 70% of their brain volume compared to our 20%. Most mammals are ready to consume other foods than their mother’s milk and walk within several hours or weeks of birth. The human immune system is not mature until the age of 6. Paradoxally the world average self weaning age is between 2 and 6. (Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin, Ashley Montagu. Plus Boris Cyrulnik.)
3 As soon as the umbilical cord is cut human babies need almost continual contact to ensure primitive confidance. (the Emotional Life of the toddler; Aleiciea Fleiberman. M.D. and Touching, the Human significance of the Skin; Ashley Montagu)
4 Humans are born with primitive needs which are really an archaic fear of being left alone. (Touching, the Human significance of the Skin; Ashley Montagu)
5 The earlier the mother infant separation, the greater the anxiety is as if imprinted in humans. A kind of background anxiety is imprinted. Recuperation after stress takes longer throughout life. (Touching, the Human significance of the Skin.)
6 Babys need movement, contact and a human voice to develop primitive confidence. (Touching, the human significance of the Skin. A Montagu)
7 A study on 49 illiterate societies conclude that where carrying, contact and touching occurs in great frequency and high levels, the levels of aggression are the lowest. Comparatively, in the societies where carrying, contact and touching is infrequent and uncommon, levels of aggression are high and common. (Prescott & Wallace, NICHD & University of California Medical school. U.S.A. ref: Good Nights. Dr. J. Gordon.)
8 With primitive confidence a baby’s energy can be used to develop the brain. Optimal neurological connections are made. (Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin. A Montagu)
9 When baby monkeys were separated from their mothers, the cortisole level was mesured and found to be extremely high. The babies were repeatedly left alone, and allowed to cry for their mothers until they gave up. When the babies stopped crying for their mothers their cortisole levels were measured again and found to be just as high as when they had cried for their mothers, even after 80 separations. (Good Nights. J. Gordon. Study: Coe et al 1985)
10 High levels of cortisole weaken the immune system. Psychiatric research conclude that adults and teenagers susceptible to depression, antisocial behaviour, alcohol, drug abuse and repetetive illnesses were babies that were left to cry alone.(David Servan-Schreiber PHD, Pittsburgh School of Medecine. ) In separate studies, patients who had been left alone to cry as babies were found to be more susceptible to mental illness and have more difficulty recuperating after a stressful event. (Michael L. Commons PHD Harvard University, Lecturer in Psychiatry.) Read: Good Nights, Dr. Jay Gordon p. 97.
11 The earlier the skin stimulation; stroking, carrying, the higher the immunity levels. What worries a baby is silence, lack of movement, and solitude. This stress is otherwise known as an archaic fear of being left alone to die.
Birch, Lorraine L Roth, Jay S Rosenblath. Harry Harlow, M.K. Harlow, E.W. Hansen. Study; The maternal affecctional system of rhesus monkeys. New York, Wiley 1963. Touching, The Human Significance of the Skin. Montagu.
12 In Bogota, Columbia, the premature born mortality rate was above 70%. In part because of unreliable electricity but mostly because mothers abandonned their premies. With the introduction of Kangaroo Care, the rate dropped to 30%. In the U.S. with incubator care alone the rate stayed at 30%. Kangaroo Care is today practiced on a 24/24 skin to skin basis. Parents leave the maternities with their premies in continuous Kangaroo Care only days after the birth. Today the incubators are used to heat laundry. (Kangaroo Care; Susan Ludlow.)
13 A child who has been carried will have better digestion, fewer skin problems, fewer colics, greater memorisation and learning capacities, better frustration tolerance, better integration capacities, more creativity. On average, carried children walk earlier. (Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin. Montagu.)
14 A carried child will have a higher I.Q. greater immunities, better intestinal developpment, and they sleep better. They will have better vision, sense of smell, balance, muscle tone and infecions are rarer. (Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin. Montagu.)
15 A study showed a 48% reduction in daytime crying and a 51% reduction in nighttime crying. (Paediatrics 1996)
16 Children who were little touched, little held, have brains that can be up to 30% smaller than other children their age. (Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin. Montagu.)
17 Carried premature babies have deeper sleeps, gain wieght faster, infections are rarer, cry less and their energy is better conserved. The interrupted gestation period can be prolonged when being carried skin to skin. ( “Kangaroo Care”; Susan Ludlow. )
18 Psychomotor developpment is more rapid and harmonious in carried babies. (Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin)
19 After 8 weeks of gestation, the foetus has skin and can feel pression throught the uterus wall.(Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin. Montagu.)
20 At 8 months of gestion the foetus is entirely envelopped in the uterus, every centimetre of its skin is being touched and massaged by the utuerus wall. This is known as "Flesh Nirvana". (Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin.)
21 Until about 9 months of life exta-uterine, a human baby believes itself to be a physical part of its mother. (Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin. )
22 Hormonale secretions in babies change depending on the mother's facial expressions. ( Dr. Janov: The Biology of Love).
23 The brain structures responsible for the experience and modulation of emotions, whether in the cortex or the midbrain, develop in response to parental input, just as visual circuitry develops in response to light. The centres of memory, both conscious and unconscious, rely on the interaction with the parent for their consolidation and for their futur interpretations of the world. The curcuits responsible for the secretion of important neurotransmitters like serotonin, norepinephrine and dopamine -essential for mood stability, arousal, motivation and attention- are stimulated and become coordinated in the context of the child's relationship with his caregiveres. In the brains of infant monkeys, serious imbalances of these various neurochemicals have been measured after only a few days of separation from their mothers. (Maté Gabor MD. When the body says no. Ed Wiley. P 206 -207)
Cultural Norms.
24 Average crying in carrying socities is 5 minutes a day. Average crying in N.A. is 2 hours per day. (The Family Bed; Tine Thevanin)
25 Separation at birth is an occidental phenomenum as is prolonged crying. (The Family Bed; Tine Thevanin)
26 Babies in Uganda creep on their bellies on average at the age of 5-7 weeks and can pick up an object while running at the age of 5-7 months. A N. A. child creeps at between 7-8 months and can pick up an object while running between 15 and 18 months. Marcelle Geber. (maternage.free.fr/la_peau-au-commencement.htm)
27 Hip displacement is principally an occidental phenomenum most common in intense stroller use societies. It is also a result of long hours spent lying on the back or front. (maternage.free.fr/portage_hanches.htm)
28 A carried baby or child can participate in family life and live every new event in total security.
(E Bonnet, E Kirkilionis, perinatalite.chez.tiscali.fr/portage.htm)
29 Strollers and Perambulaters were commercialised in the middle of the 19th century and were used to relieve servants of back pain. (Three in a Bed. Deborah Jackson)
Repercussions of popular theories in our society.
30 In Baltimore in 1938 infant mortality rate was 35% until the prenatal education programme included carrying. The rate went down to 10%. (Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin. Montagu.)
31 In the early 1900s in the U.S. orphanges lost babies at the rate of 60%- 100% at the height of the popular “Behaviourist mouvement”. When a doctor implemented a 3 times a day “holding” programme, to his orphanage the mortality rate went down to 10%. (Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin).
32 Correct carrying is a method for prevention of hip problems and also used as treatment. In fact the Paediatric plaster casts were developped by paediatricians when they realised that hip displacement is almost inexistant in carrying societies. (maternage.free.fr/portage_hanches.htm. Plus; E Bonnet Paediatrician and E Kirkilionis)
33 Experiences by Dr. Harry Harlow who had the hypothesis that babies want to cling to their mothers only to have 24/24 access to milk discovered something ground breaking. Baby monkeys were separated from their mothers and left in cages with "surrogate mothers" consisting of two wire grids. One grid was covered with soft cloth and had a lightbulb behind it, supplying heat. The second "surrogate mother" in the cage was a bared wire grid supplying milk 24/24. The baby monkeys clung to the warmed cloth covered "surrogate mother" for the vast majority of time in the cage, seldomly straying from it. In some cases, the baby monkeys went for upto 17 hours without feeding in order to cling to the heated cloth covered grid. Other findings from this study show that the earlier the babies were separated from their mothers the more difficult re-integration in their social group was. Most monkeys never fully re-integrated. The few female monkeys that did manage to copulate abandoned their babies at birth or soon after. (Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin: Harlow Experiments)
34 Franz 2 of Germany carried out experiments of his own. He wanted to know what language a child would speak if never spoken to. He took orphaned babies and entrusted their care to nurses who were instructed to never speak to their tiny charges or touch them in an agreeable manner. His experiment failed repeatedly because all the babies in this experiment died. (Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin. )
35 Why is separation at birth a common practice in occidental society ? We owe our thanks to an American Doctor. who in the 1940s, at the height of the behaviourist movement, decided that mothers should be separated from their babies at birth and allowed to hold them in their arms and attempt to breastfeed them for a 20-30 minute period once every 4 hours. In between these brief moments, the babies were allowed to cry their desperation in vast nurseries. (Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin. )
Post natale depression was rampant and psychology today is now a flourishing industry serving our generation . (author's note)
36 SIDS is almost inexistant in societies that share sleep. (Japan, India, unwesternised China (Michel Odent). Between 75% and 90% of victims of SIDS are isolated sleepers at night. (reference on demand)
37 Why are such impractical transportation contraptions so popular today despite such active lifestyles ? All new parents want "the best" for their children but are rarely faced with information or studies. Parents are left with advertising. The goal of advertising is to convince the potential client that the best sacrifice they can possibly make for their baby is buying whatever equipment they are paid to sell. Innocent parents with apparently no choice become customers. Babies and the entire family become the losers in the trade. Stress becomes an accepted aspect of daily life. "the affliction of the century" as Newsweek calls stress. (Authour’s note.)
38 Advising a parent to allow their baby to cry alone, destroys any confidence a parent may have been able to develop and "breaks" a baby. Carrying gives a parent the ability to console and soothe a baby even if they can't rectify or heal a problem. Carrying reinforces parental confidance and family bonding. Parents must learn early to know the difference between advice and information in order to build confidence.
(Rita Messmer Studer. maternage.free.fr/portons_nos_bebes.htm)
39 One or two of the originators of destructive advice ?
In 1892 in the United States, a nursing school educator published a textbook emphasising that "a baby should never be rocked nor hushed on a nurse's shoulder". This advice was dispatched accordingly to new mothers as well.
In another vastly popular textbook written by a man who had neither given birth nor breastfed a single baby, a paediatrician, Dr. Luther Emmett Holt, wrote in spite of the glaring facts of life "To induce sleep, rocking and all other habits of this sort are useless and may be harmful. I have known of an instance where the habit of rocking during sleep was continued until the child was two years old; the moment the rocking stopped the infant would awake." In 1894 Holt published another popular guide called "The Care and Feeding of Children: A Catechism for the Use of Mothers and Children's Nurses". Regarding the question of rocking Holt replied in his guide; "Rocking is by no means necessary. It is a habit easily acquired, but hard to break and a very useless and sometimes injurious one." In 1916 Holt revised his guide, adding; "A crib should be one that does not rock, in order that the unnecessary and vicious practice may not be carried on."
The use of the word "vicious" had obvious repercussions on many generations of mothers and babies to follow. Dr Holt encouraged scheduled breast feeding and the use of the bottle. By 1935 Dr Holt's book was in its 15th edition. (P 148 - 149 Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin).
The Biological Norms for Humans.
40 Nasa researchers among others, conclude that one of the causes of osteoporosis is “the lack of weight bearing on long bones”. (afpafitness.com/articles/milkdoc.htm)
41 Parental bonding is made easier, especially following a medicalised or traumatic birth or in the case of separation. (“Kangaroo Care”; Susan Ludlow. )
42 In a study on plastic baby carriers vs fabric baby carriers mothers were distributed carriers at birth. When their babies were 13 months old the mother child attachment was tested and found to be solid in 41% of the plastic seat carried babies and 83% of the fabric carried babies. (The Lancet 1987)
43 Anthropologists note that no other mammal on the planet cares for its young during the day but not at night.
44 Transport in cloth slings is the least costly mode of transport, the most practical, answers to parent and child's need for contact and frequent feeding while on the go and is the only method that reduces medical costs.
45 The more solid the mother/child bond, the more rapidly the child is ready to create relationships with other people. (Touching, the Human Significance of the Skin)
Carrying reinforces parental confidence. Even when an affliction is unidendifiable, carrying provides the parents with a means to console, comfort and sooth a child. (Kangaroo Care. Susand Ludlow.)
46 To impose isolated sleeping on a baby, with no possibility of hearing the breathing of his parents, unable to smell his mothers scent is a form of violence. This violence is often defended in the name of an adult desire for “peace”.
Early imposed mother/ infant separation does not help a child become independant however does increase fear of abandonnement and reinforce co-dependance. Independance is built on feelings of security. (Au coeur des émotions de l’enfant. Isabelle Filliozat).
47 N.B. re : Oedipus. Parents are often warned that sleeping with their babies or children is morally unhealthy, citing for proof, the story of Oedipus. The point of the Oedipus story that is so clearly overlooked is that Oedipus was abandonned at birth by his mother. He was unable to bond with his mother. Thus an incestuous relationship in adulthood was possible. For more information on incest read; Boris Cyrulnik.
Charlotte Yonge. tél;O1 56 58 21 93 ou 06 16 79 59 44 E-mail; [email protected]
Pour Approfondir votre recherche sur le portage:
A Lire:
(ang.) “Touching, the human significance of the skin”/
(fr.) “La Peau et la Toucher” de : Ashley Montagu.
(ang.) “Nighttime Parenting”: Dr Sears/
(fr.) “Etre Parent le jour et la Nuit Aussi”
(ang) The Drama of Being a Child. Alice Miller.
(fr.) "La Souffrance muette de l’enfant." : Alice Miller Editions Aubier 1990
(ang.) "The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding". LLLinternational.
(fr.) "L'art de l'allaitement maternel"/ Editions LLL.
(ang.) Référence Ostéoporose: www.afpafitness.com/articles/milkdoc.htm
Made to measure wraps by Mothers : Écharpes sur mesure :
(lin/coton 60€made to measure)[email protected],http://meliimeloo.free.fr.05 57 64 31 63.
6.50m-7m Girasol 80€: [email protected] 06 16 28 04 62.
Mise en place + Girasol 6m 60€ on order but with delay :
http://yemanja.net.free.fr/img/Pagneparisien.html ou [email protected]
Girasol 6m en stock ou sur commende 75€ : [email protected]
Ateliers Portage : [email protected]/ [email protected]/
[email protected]/ [email protected]
Allaitement : www.lllfrance.org www.lalecheleague.org
For drawings showing how to do the Pagne Parisian on the back or the Hammock tie, please contact Charlotte at 01 56 58 21 93 or [email protected]
Correct and Healthy Carrying Systems.
1. Healthy carrying for the child means he is in a sitting position, knees higher than his butt. With legs in a frog position, hips should be spread, held snugly next to the wearer’s body. Breast feeding is possible and easy when the child can round his back. Ideally, the baby or child is held tummy to tummy.
2. If the child’s legs hang and he is suspended by the crotch with a straight back carrying time must be kept to under a half hour. Physio therapists say this position is dangerous for the child’s hip and back developpment. See Dr Kirkilionis attached.
3. The weight of the charge must be spread evenly over the wearer’s shoulders, waist and is best supported in the carryer’s legs. Therefore systems with straps over the shoulder or a stretch fabric that rolls into a narrow strip will not be comfortable over an extended period or when carrying babies over a few kilos.
Safe and healthy carrying methods are: The African Pagne, any hammock style, Snugli, Ergo, Glukeschafer, Wilkinet and the wrap around sling.
Tip. To avoid buying a wardrobe of b.f. tops, buy a couple of undershirts that you cut vertical slits 30cm or so in length at breast level, to be worn under all existing tops. When you lift your top to nurse, stomach and back stay covered.
WARNING: ALWAYS UNDERDRESS A CHILD WHEN BEING WORN. In cold weather wear child as close to skin as possible and under outer wear.
DO NOT ATTEMPT A PARISIAN PAGNE ON THE BACK UNTIL YOU MASTER THE PARISIAN PAGNE IN FRONT. Wearing your child on your back in the Pagne Parisien position entails longer periods between breast feeding. Sometime after the age of about 6 months, when a baby can nurse less frequently, installing the Pagne Parisien on the back is easier.
Lengths.
Several ties are possible with a wrap around sling. The one tie that transfers almost all the weight into the carriers legs however is the Parisian Pagne which requires from 5.20m to 7m of fabric depending on your size and the weight of your baby. By crossing the fabric behind your back the resulting belt gives back support similar to the support in a weight lifters belt. This extra support requires more fabric which often requires 6 metres or more. See reading list for 6m - 7m wrap slings available for sale.
Dr. Evelyne Kirkilionis, Forschungsgruppe Verhaltensbiologie des Menschen (FVM), Freiburg, Germany,
on carrying and hip development.
Mothering Magazine. N° 137 July August 2006.
When parents carry their babies in a sling or carrying bag, they give them a sense of security. Babies can be aware of their parents with practically all their senses. they can hear their heartbeats, feel their warmth, observe their facial expressions, take in their smells. Just the sensation of being moved pacifies especially well. And if children are carried sitting upright with their legs spread and strongly drawn up, the parents are also “practicing” - quite coincidentally- prevention of so-called innate hip dysplasia. This requires, however, that the baby’s thighs be drawn up at least to a right angle; it’s better if it’s even more. Then if the baby is sitting on the parent’s hip or is carried face to face, the baby has a leg position that is ideal for the healthy maturation of the hip joint.
If the legs are bent more than 90° (about 100° to 110°) and spread approximately 90°, the femur head fits ideally in the hip socket. this favours its healthy develpment. Moreover, the body posture of the baby is not stationary. through the movements of the parent as well as those of the baby, a constant stimulus is transferred to the child’s hip joint, which promotes circulation to the still-cartilagious structures and supports their maturation. All in all, this way of carrying is an appropriate way to prevent hip dysplasia.
When baby is facing away from the mother’s body, these anatomically positive aspects of carrying are lost. The child has an unfavorable leg posture because the legs dangle down. Often, because of the construction of the carrying bag, a stretching in the hip joint is even forced. This must be regarded extremely critically in terms of the development of the hip joint, especially in the first four months. Such a stretched postion means that the femur head is not centrally guided into the hip socket, and this leads to malformation.
Moreover, with this mode of carrying, the overall posture of the torso of the child is not age appropriate. If the baby sits facing away in the carrier, the straps pull from the front over the child’s shoulders; this often causes a very upright posture, since the shoulders are pressed back. In the worst case, this posture, in combination with a stretched postion in the hip joint, forces a hollow back.
In addition, a child will not sit on her or his diaper-padded bottom. Rather, the weight will be distributed onto the cartilage of the symphysis of the pelvis. this means that the baby is sitting on the crotch, and for boys, on the testicles.
When the flood of information becomes too much : Babies carried facing away from their parents are confronted with stimuli from the environment without being able to turn away when it becomes excessive. These children also cannot read the facial expressions of their parents to see how this information is to be interpreted. In the case of disturbing stimuli, babies cannot look at their parents’ faces to be assured that everything is still OK. Admittedly, babies carried in this way are very excited, exceptionally awake and active. They seem to like having so much to see. But our little ones still have to learn to distinguish between important and unimportant information, and also need to learn how to “blind or shut out” unneeded stimuli. The exposure to this flood of information is often not ended at the right time, as the babies cannot withdraw from it by themselves. For one thing, even if babies in this position want to turn away, they cannot. For another, strong stimuli can hold babies’ attention even if it is too much for them. With face to face carrying, it is possible for babies to turn away from strong stimulation when they get tired. Also, the change in body posture allows their bodies to relax. All this is not possible when babies face away from their parents.
There are several possibilities for carrying your baby: What to do when the little one wants to see more of the world than is possible with the usual frontal carrying mode?
One possibility is to carry the baby in the sideways cross-carry, sitting on the parent’s hip. However, this may be too strenuous for the carrying person’s back. Alternatively, one should shift to the back-carrying mode. Here the child should be carried in such a way that it can observe its surroundings over the shoulders of the carrying person. This is rarely possible with conventional carriers; it is easier to achieve with a sling or a similar carrying device. In both cases, healthy development of the hip joint is supported because the leg position is equivalent to the frontal carrying mode. Moreover, the orientation of the baby to the parent’s body more strongly favours attachment with the parents.
My working/breastfeeding life
At 6:30, my day starts. My daughter and my husband are still sleeping. Outside it is still dark. I lie down next to my little daughter who is about four months old. I caress her gently and she looks for my breast. She finds it and starts to eat. The day breaks most peacefully and joyfully. She drops off to sleep again. I get myself ready for work. She is still asleep. I come to her side and I take her into my arms gently. She gradually wakes up. I wash and dry her and put her new clothes on. I put on my wrap. I have to prepare breakfast now. I try to be with her for a maximum of time. The wrap helps me. I can be with her even while I am doing house keeping. My hands are free even as I am with her all the time.
Just before leaving I breastfeed her again. It's time to go. She is comfortable inside the wrap. No coldness can touch her. She is well protected. As soon as the front door closes behind us, she asks to nurse. She knows she can. The way to the nanny's place takes 20 minutes. She is on my breast all the way. She is filled. I say good bye to my little daughter.
I miss her so much already. In the morning, I pump my breast milk at 10:30 for 10 to 15 minutes. No problem. I think of my daughter. I feel connected with her even though we are physically separated. At 12:00, I go to the nanny's place. I put on the wrap and go out with her. She looks for my breasts. She is hungry. She eats peacefully inside the wrap. I buy my lunch and eat it with my friends. She continues to drink, drink, and sleep.... I feel so happy being with her. In the afternoon, I pump my milk at 14:00 and 17:30. Totally, each day I pump from 220 to 300 mls. At 18:30, I pick up my daughter. I put the wrap on. She immediately
looks for my breast. She wants to sleep. She is tired. She drinks and sleeps while I am walking and doing some shopping for tonight. She is calm. Nobody knows that I am breast feeding. The wrap is a nest for her. It's the place where she can be fed and comforted. Warm and full of milk. When I get home, I prepare dinner with her inside the wrap. I breastfeed her but I am free. She is in the warp safely. My husband does not like the wrap. He thinks it's too much work. He does not want to put it on. It's a shame. He does not understand breastfeeding either. He thought all mothers pump their milk and give it to theirbabies in a bottle. I laughed at the idea. I have tried to help him understand breastfeeding but haven’t been successful. His efforts go somewhere else. I think breastfed babies are much happier. My baby doesn't cry so much because we can communicate somehow by breast feeding. I can feel what she wants and without thinking about it, I am reacting to it. The wrap helps me too.
I find she is better fed with the wrap because I can do so many things while breast feeding so I have much more time to feed her. She has gained much more weight and she has grown more in length too. I wish I had usedthe wrap a long time ago. I bought it before her birth but I did not go through the workshop and it was bit difficult for me to master it alone. I still have to learn how to use it better I’m sure, but for a next baby, I will have fewer problems and more confidence in breastfeeding. Sachiko Hasumi. Paris, France. Oct. 2005